Look at my texts and there’s a thread missing
Head home and there’s no good night kissing

You’re lost in every mistake you’ve made
I’m lost paying a price that’ll never be paid

Be honest, how’s it all working out for you now?
If you’re “doing it on your own”, take a bow

And I still love you like a good man should
At this point I’d stop if I thought that I could

You’re just a tornado ripping things apart
My life, my dreams, my beating heart

It was all just collateral damage
So much destruction, hard to believe you could manage

So thanks for lending me something meant to be permanent
You signed up for eternity, then stopped paying rent

If I was really what was holding you back
Then what exactly have you gained that I lack?

You don’t get to choose how I still feel
You can be fake, but that doesn’t make me not real

Your last anniversary card was absolutely fitting
Forever” used to mean never quitting

Do me a favor and warn the next few
Forever is just a few years to you

2 Years

Today marks a sad anniversary for me.  It’s been 2 years since my (ex) wife told me she was falling in love with another man.  The last night we slept in the same bed – though I didn’t really sleep.

I was in survival mode.  I wanted to save my marriage at all costs.  I knew something was up, but I never would have guessed she was ready to end what she had so recently and consistently said she was so thankful for.  The hurt, for me, didn’t start until I woke up in the middle of the night the next night and checked “Find My Friends” to see her at his apartment.  “Ouch.”  I knew that when marriages had issues the thing we were supposed to do was turn toward each other and seek help.  This was the opposite of that.

It’s likely that she complained about me a lot to her friends.  I don’t think any of them hated me, but I know that none of them really respected marriage or what it really means.  I know none of them knew how we were alone and how much I struggled trying to help her understand simple life concepts and responsibilities.  In the same breath, I actively told her I loved her and made sure she knew that I wanted to be with her.  I wish she would have shared all of the good things that we consistently shared, too.  Things weren’t bad.  I hear stories of couples that are still together and it boggles my mind.  We were going through stuff (miscarriages and attention issues) but it was a cake walk in comparison.  We treated each other well.  I’m not perfect, but I can honestly say my intent was great.  Her friends gave her advice like “don’t start the next relationship until you’re divorced” instead of “you should get counseling and try to work it out”.

They aren’t my kind of people.

You see, most of the people I share this round, floating rock with just don’t care about loyalty or morality.  Convenience ranks higher on the list.  If it’s not fun right now, dump it.  Hate is a strong word and I can honestly say if you’re like this, I hate you.  I’d elaborate but I might come across a little bitter.  Try me.

Traditional wedding vows don’t include “as long as I’m happy.”  It’s “For better or worse, until death do us part.”  We both said it, but only one of us meant it.  Obviously, you want to be happy in your marriage.  Anyone with two cells swimming around in their brain understands that there will be lows in a relationship.  Don’t get married if you can’t understand this.  I went through phases in our 5 year marriage where I was definitely not thrilled with being married to her, but I stuck around and made things work.  I never fell in love with someone else or considered leaving, I can tell you that!

And now, I’m not interested in anyone or anything.  People call it depression, I call it reality.  Pills don’t make things better, they make my perception fake and they make me not me.  I don’t want to feel different if that means I’m not me.  Marianne Williamson was right when she said in America we use medication too much.  She’s against the “medicalization of normal human despair.”  I’m not going to take a pill because I got screwed by a bunch of disloyal, short-sighted people.

I do not belong here.  Everyone wants me to do things differently.  I’m never going to.  Time cannot pass fast enough.  Let’s get on with it.



Dear Future Love

Dear Future Love,

I thought I’d take a moment and write a letter your way
So much time has passed it blurs day into day
I’m sorry I’ve given myself to people who are fake
And that you had to watch them take all they could take
I’m sorry I’m broken because you truly deserve better
You see that’s just the purpose of this very letter
I know the Truth, I talk to Him every day
But I’m still lost, I can’t seem to find my way
When I care about something I get really intense
I just can’t seem to get myself off of this fence
It’s not just all of the loss, it’s fear of rejection
I choose to stay lonely for my protection
You deserve strength and presence of mind
And I’m just not there, mine’s left behind
I’d rather have nothing than head the wrong way
But I’d be lying if I didn’t come out and say
A future for me is something I just do not see
But I’m still hoping that one day you’ll find me

Orange Man Bad

Trump is a racist

Have you ever heard of the Ellis Island Award?  As defined by NECO (National Ethnic Coalition of Organizations), “The Ellis Island Medals of Honor embody the spirit of America in their celebration of patriotism, tolerance, brotherhood and diversity. They recognize individuals who have made it their mission to share with those less fortunate their wealth of knowledge, indomitable courage, boundless compassion, unique talents and selfless generosity; all while maintaining the traditions of their ethnic heritage as they uphold the ideals and spirit of America. As always, NECO remains dedicated to the maintenance and restoration of America’s greatest symbol of its immigrant history, Ellis Island.”

Trump received the Ellis Island award in 1986 alongside Muhammad Ali and Rosa Parks, among others.

What President in the last decade pushed and signed into law a criminal reform bill that freed many non-violent African American men from prisons across the United States?  Was it America’s first black President Barack Obama?  No.  Donald Trump signed the First Step Act into law on December 21st, 2018.  He commuted Alice Marie Johnson’s prison sentence and sent the mother of 5 home on time served over a drug conviction.

“He just says, ‘I’m gonna negotiate a better deal.’ Well how? How exactly are you going to negotiate that? What magic wand do you have? And usually the answer is, he doesn’t have an answer.” – Barack Obama

In their first two years in office, President Obama’s policies led to the highest number of citizens on food stamps, up 42.6% from when he took office, while President Trump led to the lowest minority unemployment numbers in the last 7 decades.  Would you rather have a handout or a job?

Stating that some of the illegal immigrants that cross our southern border are rapists and drug dealers isn’t racist.  It’s true.  It’s like saying some American citizens are rapists and drug dealers.  I don’t take offense, I’m not one of them.  Look at the news headlines in Sanctuary State Maryland.  In less than a month, a 4th illegal immigrant has been accused of rape.  In reference to illegal immigrants crossing our border, Trump also said, “Some of them are good people.” I tend to agree – though it is indisputable that the first act they commit in our country is a crime – crossing the border at a non-port of entry.

Wars have been fought, people have been killed and lives have been enslaved and destroyed over the centuries due to the shade of brown in your epidermis.  We need to start assigning value to people based on how they act and what they stand for and not the color of their skin!

Trump is a bigot

Bigot – noun – a person who is intolerant toward those holding different opinions.

     Trump employs minorities in his companies, he has them in his Cabinet and his policies have benefited them across the country.  Not wanting unknown persons entering your country from countries with failing economies and justice systems is not bigotry.  America has a right to know and approve who enters our country.

The two Supreme Court justices appointed by President Trump have voted more moderately than current conservative Judges on the bench.  Would a bigot appoint moderate thinkers to the most important life long position in the country?

Or is it more likely that a biased, agenda driven news media is filled with bigots?  Someone unwilling to take the full context of what someone says and assess it as a whole?  These people take 2/3rds of a sentence out of context from a 20-minute speech and tell the country that the man is a racist bigot.  They want to tell you what to believe!

The Travel Ban of 2017 was labeled by the media as the “Muslim Ban”.  The top six countries (Indonesia, Pakistan, India, Bangladesh, Nigeria and Egypt holding an estimated 1 billion) with the highest Muslim populations in the world weren’t banned from traveling to the United States.  How in God’s name can that be a “Muslim Ban”?



     When someone says that someone is a racist or a bigot, ask them for proof.  Is it in context?  Is there evidence in their past?  Is there evidence against the claim?

Calling someone a racist or a bigot doesn’t make it true, no matter how many times you say it. 





Selfish Prayer

Selfish Prayer

I’d really like to be happy
I can’t remember how that feels
It was a lasting feeling
My loneliness steals

I admit it, I’m alone all the time
It’s partly why it won’t change
I’m more afraid of the wrong thing
It’s all I know, is that strange?

I wish I could do something
I just feel so alone lately
It takes all the motivation
All the ability right out of me

I want to give myself to someone
And be full again, with everything good
I want a chance to love again
Please give me that, if You could

Send someone that sees my heart broken
And is patient with me anyway
Someone that leads the simple life
And wants me around, every day

I’d like my faith to paint a picture
Tell You exactly what I see
Truth is, I don’t know anymore
Maybe this is all You have for me

I keep wondering why
Why’d You make me this way?
I want more than anything to love
And You’ve taken it away

Being a Realtor 101

“What’s it like to be a real estate agent?”  I wish I could say people have asked me that in my 7+ years in this field, but they haven’t. They have their own idea.  I’m here to shed some light on some misconceptions and hopefully open some eyes – both the public’s and my colleagues.


The general stereotype for real estate agents is not that great – kinda pushy and that we “make too much money”.  I’ve heard it put, “A glorified car salesman.”

Some of the time, the stereotype is spot on.  Some agents focus a little too much on sales techniques they’ve learned and not enough on the people they are supposed to be helping.  Some of the most successful agents drive nice cars, put up big billboards and annoy you with radio ad after radio ad.


I’m a different breed.  I used to sell cars so I know what it’s like to have someone in your face trying to sell you something (many of my co-workers were that way).  They would ask you just the right questions in order to get you to do what they wanted you to do.

I never did that in car sales (and I was still successful) and neither I, nor my team, do that now in home sales.

There is nothing wrong with having a nice car or advertising yourself.  There is nothing wrong with being proud of the work you have done and the success you have achieved. There is something wrong when that is how you identify your worth.

Every once in a while, the real help a client needs is to be pushed – just a little – in the direction they really want to go but are afraid to.  That’s a good agent knowing their client.


Real estate agents have state and federal laws governing their industry and Realtors have a code of ethics in addition to that.  You’d think with all this oversight there would be no rotten apples.  Unfortunately, there are.  The more rules there are, the craftier a self-absorbed agent has to be to get around them.  Because of this, it’s important for people to be able to identify deception.

Here are a few ways to spot something off:

  • If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is.
    • “Guaranteed offer within 48 hours!”
    • “If it doesn’t sell in 60 days, I’ll buy it!”
  • If your agent wants you to sign a contract that isn’t a state form.
  • If they have “exclusive” programs. (why wouldn’t it be offered to everyone? Is it legal?)
  • If they tell you “I have a few buyers that would be interested in your home.”

You see, some agents are building a sales machine for the wrong reasons.  Whether it’s to feed an ego or the love of a paycheck, some agents just want to churn out as many deals as possible.  Success is a drug, it’s addicting.  If they find a method that works, they’ll use it.  They’ll do it whether or not it’s truly in the best interest of their client.

It’s A Career

Recent nationally syndicated news articles have suggested that Realtors are soon going to be a thing of the past.  Listing reasons such as a movement to all electronic home purchases to agents costing too much, they made a convincing case to someone who has never thought about it before.

The truth is, there will always be a demand for experienced, thoughtful professionals. The kind of people who are attentive to a client’s feelings, understand what they want and need in a home, negotiate effectively and flawlessly navigate the piles of paperwork required to transfer the deed of a property, among other things.

Those that can’t do these things effectively don’t deserve to be in the industry.  Unfortunately, that includes most of those quoted in the news articles I referred to.

This industry isn’t a scam.  We don’t dangle a carrot and then sell your information to the highest bidder like national home search sites do.  The hard work of a good agent can provide way more value to their client than their commission suggests.  That’s all some of us are doing.  Working harder for our paychecks, providing more services and protecting our clients even if it hurts our pocketbooks.  It’s our duty.  It’s the way it’s supposed to be.


 It’s a service industry, not a sales one.  The sooner this fact becomes the foundation for all Realtors, the easier it will be to fend off the monsters at our doors.  Our number one purpose is to serve the public in their real estate endeavors.  The paycheck is just a side effect.  The public will never turn on someone who bent over backwards for them.  The public will gladly pay for good, thorough representation in a process they aren’t well versed in.  What they won’t do is allow a shady agent to take advantage of them twice.



Life is just not what I wanted it to be
Because what I lost is what was closest to me

I try to move on and push into something new
But it always fails in comparison, the best part of me was you

It bothers me that the only time I ever feel real
Is when I feel like these wounds won’t ever heal

I’m surrounded by a past I can’t have, you see
I’ve given all of myself to people that leave me

So the world keeps spinning and life keeps going
I know the Bible preaches karma, you’ll get what you’re sowing

I’m unwilling to put my standards up for sale
“Thank U, Next” is just a guaranteed way to fail

Knowing how it all works kinda feels like a curse
But I’d rather feel despair than make things worse

I don’t like to ask for anything, but if I could
If I have to stick around, please give me something good